10. You wake up in a daze on your livingroom floor and there's a strange card in your pocket with a picture of Magnum PI.
9. You now understand why Taco Bell tacos can't even pass for "gringo" tacos.
8. You can't remember anything after hearing, "Good morning, How're you today?"
7. You NEED to try bacon beer, NOW.
6. You suddenly feel disoriented and confused, even dizzied by the sound of a mariachi band.
5. You decide to take off all your clothes for no apparent reason.
4. You spontaneously yell “Freebird” at every musician you see.
3. You develop a compulsion to buy everyone a drink.
2. You can’t stop smiling, even though your dog just died.
And the number one way in which an encounter with Dave is like being slipped a roofie:
1. You suddenly decide to give up your dream of being a stockbroker in favor of living on a commune and learning to weld.